In spite of the black sack envelopping all but her eyes, I can gauge that the middle-aged lady at hospital reception is of the overweight variety, as many of them are thanks to husbands who forbid them to leave the house or exercise. Yet she is always very polite and friendly and addresses me in mellifluous English when I hand her my appointment slip, eyes sparkling when I give her a cheeky, surreptitious wink of thanks - thanks just for being a lady and speaking to me in a normal manner. She asks me to wait among a ragged group of men sitting in dental dread, gathered in front of a TV showing some local football match being played in 40 degree heat before an equally ragged group of fans. In fact the crowd in the dentist's waiting room probably doubles the audience.
A chirrupping voice calls out my name at the appointed time and a cute, petite and veiled dental nurse with a surgical mask over the veil leads me to the surgery, eyes smiling through the slit, giggling as she enquires as to my general well-being.
"Fine," I tell her and give her my best Joey from Friends "How you doing?" in return. I like to think there is a bit more swing to her hips as we wheel round the corner and into the surgery. Is that rebellious suggestion in her voice when she tells me to lie back as she fixes a bib round my neck? Such is the tabboo here of any male-female interaction exchanges such as this could easily get us into trouble if overheard by the wrong religious ears.
The teeth have needed a fair bit of attention - two pulled out and four fillings so far - but, thanks to the grace of God and the benevolence of the king, it is all free vole! Hurrah! No pain, no pay! Whoopee! It is some sort of back-in-time warp to 1970s Britain when the National Health Service was in its pomp, soon to be smashed to pieces by the evil Thatcher and her Antipodean henchmen.
The treatment is topped off with a visit to the hygienist, a Filipino lady, not as friendly as the nurses but, while she yanks my jaw open and spends 30 minutes scraping and polishing, one of her large breasts is wedged firmly in my right ear, kind of warming it up.
Not a bad way to pass the time.